my birthday message for my dearest husband...

I thought life consisted of days, months and years.
but You taught me my life consisted of just moments and those are the moments that I spend with you.

I Thought air, food and water made me live.
But with you, i've learnt that love is what makes one survive. And I understood My Love for you makes me stay alive.

As the years go by, I stop and think about all the memories we've made, the good times we've shared and the love between us that keeps growing. You are not only my husband, but my best friend and my dear soul mate. You are a blessing from above - one that I do not take for granted. I thank you for all the things that you've done for me. Not only are you a wonderful husband, I believe you'll be a terrific father. I love you, Honey ... more than words, more than life. I'm forever grateful for your love and proud to be your wife.

Wish you a very happy birthday!!!

Love always,
Your wife, Socheata :-)

To build a long lasting relationship...

"Love brings along many expectations that need to be met. Every partner expects something from the other. But the expectations must be realistic and achievable. If both partners understand that that neither of them is perfect and accept each other “Warts and All” It will help them enjoy an equitably and contented life together."


The foundation stone.

Relationships are like plants. They need to be nurtured with love, care and understanding. You need to work at it on a regular basis and learn the skills needed to make it grow. Those who take relationships for granted and do not take the time to do the maintenance will find a once beautiful relationship will wilt and die.
Good communication is the foundation stone of any healthy relationship but there must also be lashings of mutual respect and commitment to each other.


Trust each other
You must learn to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner,even if they are unpleasant. Very often the fear of offending your partner makes you keep quiet, and you choose to suffer in silence. Not only doing an injustice to you but also sowing the seeds of unhappiness and mistrust.
You must trust each other. Suspicion breeds hate, jealousy and sorrow. Often, these feelings get out of control, and destroy relationships. The best way to keep the flame of trust shining bright is to confide in your partner. It removes mistrust, and does not allow misunderstandings to grow.
It pays to be honest with each other. Don’t hesitate to brush unpleasant issues under the carpet. If you have done a wrong, let your partner know. You will both feel stronger to face the next challenge.


Balanced relationship
Being a part of the ‘couple’ should not affect the sense of self.
Establishing boundaries where needed helps to maintain a balanced relationship and allows each to become fulfilled. Keep your own hobbies and pastimes but remember to share an interest in what your partner does as well. You are two separate entities with often-differing likes, dislikes, traits and interest. Respecting and allowing for these differences is essential for reducing conflict.


“Warts and All”
Love brings along many expectations that need to be met. Every partner expects something from the other. But the expectations must be realistic and achievable. If both partners understand that that neither of them is perfect and accept each other “Warts and All” It will help them enjoy an equitably and contented life together.


There are three stages in every relationship.


The first is attraction.
When you are first attracted to a person, you wish to know more about them, there likes, dislikes, interests etc. Then you gather courage to make your first move like asking to come for a movie, dance or dinner. Both partners often feeling embarrassed and awkward but probably mostly feeling over come with wonderful feelings about your new-found love.


The second is the testing stage.
This is the stage when the relationship starts blooming. You are both learning more about each other. If you hide your emotions or are deceitful in any way at this stage, then you can be sure that you are building weak foundations. The relationship any well seem to flourish for a while but that weakness will undermine all the good work you do and it will fail. Honesty dealt with in a tender manner will be a strong bond that will help to hold you together.


The third is the conflict stage.
As the relationship progresses and you have been together some time there will be conflicts and disagreements. Those who are able to handle these conflicts with trust and equanimity will be able to keep the relationship going where others would simply flounder. So, learn to handle conflicts and learn form all the ups and downs.


A fine achievement
Because you have been together for a long time you may well feel your partner takes you for granted or that you are in a rut. The positive side of that coin is you are in a comfortable relationship were you have mutual respect for each other. It may not have the zest and excitement of a new relationship but you have learned to live in contentment with another. This really is a fine achievement worthy of praise. It has the reward of a long lasting loving relationship that can only be coveted by many.
Allow your partner just to be human not some super-person who you expect must always get it right. If you allow them that courtesy they might then do the same for you!

Secrets to a happy marriage...

Some people said "love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener" but why people are seen happier when they got married. It is becoz they knew what are the secret to a happy marriage! so try some below and see how many of them you have practice in your couples'life :)

- Never assume.
- Compliment more than you criticize.
- Always make time for the two of you.
- Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
- Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
- Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
- Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
- Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
- Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
- Fight naked. ;)
- Agree to disagree.
- Never, ever mention the "D" word (divorce).
- Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
- Respect each other's privacy.
- Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
- Marriage is not 50/50, it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
- Surprise each other now and then.
- Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".
- Hold hands.
- Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
- Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
- Be quick to say "I'm sorry".
- Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.
- Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.
- Play nice, play often, love much.
- Never keep secrets from each other.
- Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife's side first!
- Communication is the key!
- Always respect each other.
- Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- It's the little things that matter most.
- Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
- It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.
- Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
- Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life! [romanticstuck.com,2011]

What is love....

Each one of us has its own definition of LOVE. There are also different kinds of Love such as the love for our children or parent love to their children, Love for our friends, love for our hobby, love for our pet, love for our neighbor and many more. Nevertheless, there is also we called love to the opposite sex like your bf/gf or husband/wife. We fell in love because we choose to let them in to our lives. If you won't allow a person to get involved in your life I'm sure you won't fell inlove with him. That is why I guess there are lots of relationship didn't work out not because they are not meant for each other. It never work out because they choose not to work it out. Oh love, easy to spell but hard to understand. It's only a four letter word but it had broad meaning.
Anyway, I found this scientific and unscientific answers to the question What Is Love? I'm sure you will enjoy reading this and give your own personal opinion about it.

Scientific Answers of What Love Is ~

Researchers (Hatfield & Rapson, 1995) have broken up love into two main types:

* Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.
* Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.

Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?

This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.

Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?

This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?

Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.

Now, here is the unscientific answers about what love is, check it out if you are familiar with the answers.

Unscientific Answers

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?

* It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?

* It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?

* It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?

* It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?

* It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?

* It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?

* It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?

* It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?

* It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?

* It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?

* It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?

* Then it's Love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?

* Then it's Love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?

* Then it's Love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?

* Then it's Love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?

* Then it's Love.

But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?

* Then it's Love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? [gossipme.us,2010]

* Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
Love

~Author: Unknown

How To Encourage Yourself - Don't Quit

The road of life we each travel isn't one endless stretch of flat, paved expressway, but rather, is filled with curves, valleys, detours, potholes and bumps. Life is very unpredictability and that is what makes it so interesting and alluring. It's that unpredictability that makes for some real gut-tightening questions and fears as well.

Ever feel like quitting? "Are you kidding?" you ask, "A better question would be, 'How many times TODAY have I felt like quitting?' " Sure. We've all felt like "throwing in the towel" at one time or another. If you haven't, I suggest that you check your pulse quickly. And here's a real shocker for you: the notion that "winners never quit" is a crock! Everyone - even "winners"- has not only felt like it, but has even quit at one time or another.

Having said that, I do feel that we, too often, give up on our dreams too easily and quickly - perhaps, just one small step short of success. So what do you do when the going gets tough and you feel like quitting? Here are ten strategies that you can employ when you hit those apparent "roadblocks" on your road of life:

1. Remember the reason(s) you started in the first place. What was the "spark" that caused you to begin the journey? Revisiting that may help rekindle the flame that helps you go on.

2. Ask yourself, "What would I rather be doing?" If nothing compelling comes to mind, then determine the next step you need to take to move you closer to your original destination. If something more compelling does come to mind, maybe you need to quit.

3. List 10 reasons why you CAN keep going. What strengths and resources do you possess that will help you achieve your desired outcome? Just the very act of doing this shifts your focus from the problem to the solution.

4. Give yourself permission to quit. Sounds crazy, but it works. When you set up an internal law that says, "I can't quit." Or "I shouldn't quit", it makes the desire to quit even stronger.

5. Give yourself a need to continue. Rather than focus on why you feel you need to quit, focus on why you need to continue. What's the payoff, the reward waiting for you if you persevere?

6. Stop focusing on the struggle and start focusing on the solution. Whatever you focus on expands. If your focus is on the struggle you are experiencing, that becomes the biggest (and maybe even the ONLY) thing on your "horizon" It blocks out many, if not all, of the creative opportunities and solutions that may be trying to present themselves to you.

7. Take a hard look at your methodology. Tired of getting poor or less than optimum results from your efforts? Then why keep doing things the same way an expecting something different to happen? That's the classic definition of insanity! Ask yourself, "What's the most radical or unorthodox action I could take right now?" Try it.

8. Make a contract with yourself. Write out what you intend to accomplish and how you intend to accomplish it and then give yourself, say, six months to achieve your goal. Sign and date it and keep it where you can see it. You might even impose some kind of "penalty" for breaking the contract - no chocolate for a month, maybe.

9. Get real. Were you enticed by the "illusion" that success is easy? Maybe you were enamored by the "fluff" that if you just want something badly enough, it will find its way to your doorstep. Success is WORK. Pure and simple. It is the result of a certain mindset as well as a set of deliberate actions. If you want to quit something, then quit fooling yourself by thinking it's going to be a "piece of cake".

10. Walk away. Sometimes looking at something too hard or long obscures the solutions. It's the "can't see the forest for the trees" phenomenon. By simply walking away or taking a break from the struggle to solve, you often free your mind to see new options and opportunities. [sap-basis-abap,2010]

Maintain your everyday's Romance...

1. Tell the truth. Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great way to create connection with your partner. For example, you might say "I feel safe when I am with you" or "Sometimes I feel scared that we get so busy with other things that we forget about creating close moments together, but I really want to be close with you." Just share your true feelings and speak from your experience. If you are concealing in your relationship, you will not feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priority in your life.

2. Appreciate yourself and your partner. Appreciation means "to grow in value, or to be sensitively aware of." Take time to understand just what it is that you like about yourself, and your partner. Saying for example, "I am doing a good job as a parent by taking time to hug the kids in the morning before they go off to school." or "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your job." Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciations to criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship, start appreciating!

3. Listen. All humans crave being seen and heard. Being with your partner, and really listening to them can be magical for you both. Often, we want to fix their problems, but it is much more powerful to listen. Saying, "Wow, I can understand you are frustrated." or "That must have been hard on you." lets your partner know you're hearing them.

4. Create romance within yourself first. We often try to "get" our partners to be more romantic by believing we need to change them in order to have what we want. The truth is that you are much more likely to have what you want when 'you' show up in that way. For example, create your own romantic mood--dress, put on music, prepare sensuous foods, take some time to Love and appreciate yourself. It will not take long for your partner to join in the fun!

5. Ask for what you want. Let your partner know that you are deeply interested in spending some romantic time with them (You would be surprised at how often they are unaware of this.) Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creating romance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.

6. Speak your partner's love language. We often become confused and disappointed by expecting the other person to do such and such romantic things. Do to your partner the things they like as well as you telling them what 'you' like, want, and expect. When you fulfill their needs and desires, you will end up receiving the same in return!

7. Accept each other unconditionally, respect each others wishes and dislikes. Keep the mystery and fascination to each other. Love each moment as if it is the last. [weloved,2010]

Why is Love important?

Generally, we would spend most of our time taking care of our physical needs. We make sure our bodies are fed, cleaned, clothed, exercised and rested. We also make sure intellectual stimulation and entertainment is a priority. Yet we also overlook the most important need -- love.



The need to love and care for others is built into us biologically. This need is what allows parents to forgo sleep, food, and sanity while raising their children. This need is what allows people to put themselves at risk to save others from natural disasters and human threats. This need is what makes human society work on both a small and large scale.
Love means to cherish, hold dear, and treasure. We do not hurt, harm, or cause pain to those we love; rather, we seek to relieve their suffering. It is not about wanting people; it's about wanting people to be happy. It's not about wanting to possess or control others; it's about wanting to set them free.

John Oxenham described love this way: "Love ever gives. Forgives, outlives. And ever stands with open hands. And while it lives, it gives. For this is love's prerogatives - to give, and give, and give."

Love is the grease that allows the wheel of life to continue turning. For when we love we look beyond ourselves, beyond our needs and desires. We sacrifice our time, our energy, our wishes, and sometimes even ourselves because of love. Sometimes it is for an immediate person or group that we know intimately and love completely, but other times it is for a larger group of people that we don't really know or perhaps even like. It is love that allows law enforcement and emergency services personnel to face danger. It is love that allows soldiers to risk everything. Love makes heroes every day in every corner of the world. As Thomas ã Kempis said: "Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength... It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love would faint and lie down." [buzzle.com,2010]

So all in all, Love is important because without it life has no meaning or purpose. As Frank Tebbets says "A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth, with the fire dead, the laughter stilled and the light extinguished." Love allows us to be more and do more than we could ever accomplish without its power.

SMART and SUCCESS

Successful people do not have special talent; they are the same to you and me, they, we, are human beings. Or do you think they are successful because they spend most of their time working on their tasks??? You might be rite, but not really right. Becos If work hard is what make people rich, then construction workers will all becomes millionaires. Only work SMART is the arts for SUCCESS.

SMART = Self confident, Maneuver, Ability, Readiness, Tactics.
SUCCESS = self-improvement, Ultimate, Certify, Compatible, Elite, Superior, Satisfy.

Find your own wills, develop your talent, don't give up at your own commitment. Go for the destination, move on for success. Your life is meaningless without facing any obstacles. Never give up, coz nth would stay for eternity, so the problem you are facing with will also pass away. Life is goes on...

Success in school + career = success in life?

Does anyone of you can really answer to yourself of what is Success?
Does everyone of us define Success in the same way? people born differently and therefore, the conception of ours toward success is sure gonna be different; at least in some ways.
So, what is success? does success in life refers to how you success in school plus career?
Now, let's read these article, then you will see what is success in life really is!!!

What is success in life? If you are in a happy relationship and making money doing something you enjoy, are you less successful than someone who happens to make more money? Of course not! Life is not a competition against others, to be fought on their terms. Two businessmen can be compared for their success in business, but this doesn't tell us about their entire lives.

Next question: If you will be happier, wealthier and healthier in the future, does this mean you are a failure now? Absolutely not. Success in life is about the process, not current lists of accomplishments. A happy poor person who is going to school to get a degree, or otherwise bettering his life is more successful than a miserable rich man who is falling into destructive habits.

Success In Life Right Now

Personal success is in the actions of this moment. Maybe this is a new idea to you, but doesn't it make intuitive sense? Even if you fail at the specific goals you are currently working on, if the attempt is honest, and you are willing to learn from your mistakes, isn't this personal success?

This idea may be discouraging for some. Sometimes the thought of success being somewhere in the future is just a way to excuse the actions of the moment. You can continue "waiting for your ship to come in," and delay taking the actions you need to take to fulfill yourself. You can keep that future in mind - and always push it a little further forward. If you think this way, you may not like the idea that you can be a success right now, because it reminds you that it is your responsibility.

On the other hand, it can be a very liberating thought. No longer do you have to wait for the future. If you find your inspiration in the work of the moment, and you do it honestly and with acceptance of the need to continually correct course and enjoy the journey, you are successful right now. There is no guarantee that you won't get lazy or discouraged, but the moment you begin again to work towards your true values, you are living a successful life.

Success is Personal

What, then do you want out of life. To get rich? To help others? To have great relationships? To travel the world? To be healthier? All of the above? Success in life is personal and unique. Whatever your best course is in life (and this is only for you to decide), when you start honestly in that direction, in that moment you are succeeding as a human being.

The outward manifestations of success are nice - the money, things and opportunities. You'll surely have some of these, but you will also fail at many things. We all do, and that's okay. The important question is the moment-to-moment and day-to-day question: will you start again in the right direction?

But remember that this internal process of choosing again and taking action is what defines success in life. [Selfimprovement, 2009]

Define your own success first...what are the things that mean success to you? is it success in business and career? or is it how you can earn a lot of money? is it how you live your lives happily? is that how you live your lives wealthy and healthy or is it only when you can live with treasury? Make sure you understand what are the things that you want to get success in... then, there you go to step forth for it... :) Understand yourself, understand your own needs, then there will be a path to go for ur own success, and this is the key to success!!!