Is he really your Mr. Right?

Just looking at him takes your breath away. You think about him all the time. You can't wait to hear from him again. Strong feelings. But is it love? Is he the one? Most women have experienced all of the strong feelings of initial attraction to someone, only to find out later that it was not a good relationship. Those beginning feelings are so intense it can be difficult to view the relationship rationally. Your heart may get in the way of your head, and that can spell disaster and heartache. So how do you know he's the one?

Take the time to really get to know him. Do you really know him? When we meet someone, we tend to get an initial impression, and these impressions can later prove to be false. We have to trust our gut instinct, but we also need to verify those feelings with facts. This only comes from really getting to know someone. Find out what makes them tick. To really know someone takes time, effort, and patience. Dating partners, ourselves included, try to put our best foot forward to make a good impression when we meet someone. We hide our bad habits, watch what we say, and try to put ourselves in the best light we can. Many relationship experts call this the "honeymoon period." It is easy to be blinded during this time, especially to others' faults.

When you are with this man, on the phone or in person, ask questions. Everyone likes to have someone be interested in him. It doesn't have to be an interrogation. Just use the time you have together to get to know his heart and mind. What does he like? What does he not like? Is he a racist? What are his views on women's issues? What do his friends think of him? How does he treat his family? How does he talk about past relationships? Does he accept responsibility for the mistakes he has made, or does he blame all his problems on someone else? What is his history? What jobs has he held? Has he moved around a lot in his life? What are his goals for the future? What are his regrets? Is he generous? Is he considerate of other people's feelings? Do you recognize any controlling behaviors?

Does he listen to you? "Genuine concern manifests itself in listening to the cares, concerns and issues of your woman," says Anthony Woodson, president and CEO of BlackLoveForever.com, a matchmaking service that has resulted in nearly 500 marriages. "A man who wants to be around you for the long-term will be a good listener when you need him. He will be a dependable source of guidance and support and will not turn a deaf ear simply because the problem is too big. If he doesn't know the solution, he will try his best to find one."

Watch how he interacts with others. Does he bark orders at waiters? Does he have good manners? Manners may not seem as important to you now, but at some point you will want to introduce him to your family or co-workers, and it will become more important. How does he treat women in his life? What does he say about women co-workers?

How does he treat you? Is he considerate of your wants and needs? Does he value your opinion? Do you feel free to express your likes and dislikes to him? Does he keep his dates with you on time? Does he do what he says he will do? "To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his partner," says Jel D. Lewis, relationship expert and columnist.

Do you share the same outlook on what is important in life? He can be gorgeous, and make you feel special, but if you are a person who loves to be involved in helping others, and he is a person who is more concerned about getting what he wants for himself, there will be conflict. How does he accept your differences? Two people can have very different opinions on issues, and yet show respect for the other's view. Is he concerned about being right? Will he be supportive of you with whatever you choose to do in your life?

What do your friends and family think of him? Eventually you will want him to meet the other people in your life. Because they have no bias toward this man, they may see things you don't see. Listen to their concerns. If someone expresses a concern, look at it carefully instead of dismissing it. If it is a legitimate concern, you need to address it.

Look for warning signs. One therapist calls these the "caution lights" and many of us, when we look back on past relationships that proved to be bad for us, remember seeing signs of trouble early on. Most of the time these were ignored. Don't avoid the caution lights. If he does something or says something that makes you feel something may not be right, explore that. Don't rationalize away your concerns. If it doesn't feel right, it may not be right.

Think about the long view. It's easy to believe that because we are so compatible now, we will always be. But when we look at a future with someone, a lot of other things become more important. Is he an honorable person? Is he honest? Is he a person of his word? Is he trustworthy? Does he follow through with commitments? Does he want the same things from his life that you do? How does he handle conflicts? Does he have a temper? Is he abrasive or abusive at times? Any sign of abusive behavior is a definite "deal breaker". No matter how nice a guy he is at times, if he's abusive at other times, he's not for you. You deserve better than that.

He should make you feel good about yourself and encourage you to grow. If you weren't in a relationship with this man, is he the kind of man you would still want to be friends with? Gandy, creator of the motivational tape, Make Space So Joy Has A Place, gives this advice: "If this person is truly a good fit for you, then his qualities should be desirable even if you are not in a relationship." Do you have the same views spiritually, financially, and socially?

Happiness is something we all seek. But long term happiness is our ultimate goal. If this man is the one, he will be someone you can be happy with for a long time. Don't settle for instant gratification to the expense of your long term well-being. Author and motivational speaker Dr. Grace Cornish advises women not to get caught up looking for love in a certain package. "If you think he's the one, don't write him off just because he's not wearing a certain suit or driving a certain car," she says. "Get to know who he is and what his values are. After moving beyond the physical, you can enter the emotional and spiritual, where you'll find love and opportunity waiting and smiling back at you." [associatedcontent.com,2011]

Decoding Your Baby's Cries — all Six of 'em!

Crying is your baby's only means of communication. Here are some "crib" notes to help you find out what your baby may be saying.

It's too bad babies don't come with instruction manuals. It would make parenting these early weeks a whole lot easier — wouldn't it? Actually, your baby is trying to give you some subliminal clues to help out. Since she can't tell you what she needs with words — "Hey, got a gas bubble over here!" — she relies on an array of whimpers, cries, and all-out screams to get your attention. You just have to crack the crying code to know what she's saying. Here's a cheat sheet to help clue you in:

* I'm hungry: Listen and look for a rhythmic, repetitive cry, combined with other signals such as rooting for the breast or sucking her fingers.
* I'm tired: You'll hear a cry that starts slowly and builds in intensity and is accompanied by yawns or eye-rubs.
* I'm stressed out: Get ready for a fussy, whiny cry; she may try to turn her head or body away from overstimulating sights or sounds.
* I've got colic: You'll likely know it by the intense screams, accompanied by fidgeting movements; often occurs in the late afternoon or evening.
* I'm in pain here: Listen for a loud, intense, out-of-the-ordinary cry that comes on suddenly (at a time or in a way that's unusual for your baby).
* I'm not feeling so well: You'll hear soft whimpers; usually very different from her normal cries.

A lot of trial and error and time with your baby may help you break her particular code (although some infants are quite inconsistent about their cries, thwarting your attempts to read them). Having a repetitive routine can also help. If your baby's day falls into a pattern of feeding, then a period of alert play, followed by sleep, knowing where you are in the cycle can help you determine quickly what your little one needs. If she has a full belly and an empty diaper, she may be ready for a nap or need a cuddle. [whattoexpect.com,2011]

a touching hurtful love story!

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed.
When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...
"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"
One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!
Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.
She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

Sexting will hurts your marriage!

The term“sext or sexting,” is known as the act of sending flirtatious or sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones, text message, email, Twitter, Facebook and so on.

so below are the 11 Ways that Sexting Hurts Your Marriage:

1. Just because you or your spouse do not define something as “cheating” doesn’t mean it can’t eventually bring your marriage to an end.

2. Sexting is a form of flirting. Flirting is the first step in courtship. In fact, it’s what led to the two of you getting married. Would you feel comfortable if your spouse were actively courting someone else?

3. Trust is an important ingredient to a happy marriage. Sexting destroys trust.

4. If you wouldn’t do it with your spouse sitting right next to you, it’s probably not good for your marriage.

5. As the saying goes: The grass is always greener where you water it. If you are sexting with someone who isn’t your spouse, you are watering the wrong lawn.

6. By focusing your attention outside your home, you will end up neglecting what’s inside your home. Trust me: to keep it strong, your marriage will need all of the attention you can give it. Don’t waste your attention where it’s not needed.

7. When you flirt with someone else – either in person, on the phone, or digitally – you hurt your spouse’s self esteem. A spouse who feels this way is eventually going to check out.

8. When you flirt with someone else – either in person, on the phone, or digitally – you make it harder for your spouse to feel sexy. A spouse who doesn’t feel sexy isn’t going to want to have sex.

9. When you flirt with someone else – either in person, on the phone, or digitally – you cause your spouse to feel unloved. If your spouse does not get the love she needs from you, she’s going to be more likely to search for it somewhere else.

10. If you need a rush, try finding it with your spouse. The two of you can strengthen your marriage by solving this problem together.

11. If you don’t feel sexy, try talking to your spouse about the problem. The two of you can strengthen your marriage by solving this problem together.

There is one way sexting can help your marriage. It’s this: do it with your spouse. Text “you are hot” to your spouse. Text “I can’t wait to see you naked” to your spouse. Everything you were thinking of sexting to someone else? just Sext it to your spouse.

Written by Alisa Bowman, projecthappilyeverafter.com

11 signs he's not headed toward a relationship with you!

1. He texts instead of calls, or he texts more often than he calls. When a guy likes a girl, he wants to hear her voice. “Texting is not an easy way to communicate—it’s an easy way to avoid communication,”

2. He finds reasons to blow you off or be late more times than not. Maybe he’s just flaky or disorganized, you say? Don’t make excuses. If a guy likes you and wants to continue hanging out with you, he’ll find a way to do so.

3. He talks to his ex-girlfriends. Nothing makes a guy forget his ex like a girl he wants to be with. If he continues talking with an ex, that’s the first sign that he’s either not over a prior girlfriend or he’s just not that in to you.

4. He avoids introducing you to his friends. He should be proud of you, want to show you off, and want to include you in his life.

5. He avoids even minor instances of intimacy in public. “Listen, not all guys are comfortable with PDA (public display affection). Not everyone likes to make out for the whole world to see. But when I really like someone, no matter what I’m generally comfortable doing, I’ll at least put my arm around her and give her a kiss on the cheek.”

6. He doesn’t use the pronoun “we” or use it in the future tense. If he talks about a great new restaurant he discovered, but doesn’t add, “We should go there sometime”—and maybe he just says “I go there a lot”—then he’s not interested in sharing things with you. Plus: “Guys who are into girls want to explore with them—not sit on the couch on every date,”

7. He doesn’t do something sweet for you at least once a week. That doesn’t mean he’s buying you a dozen roses but he should have said or done something that made you go “Aw!” in the last seven days.

8. He doesn’t ask questions about your family and friends.

9. He doesn’t initiate at least 80% of the things you do together. “I call this the 80/20 rule,”. “When I don’t like a girl, the 80% drops significantly. I’m not even aware of it. I’ll get off the phone and never close the conversation with a set of plans.” Note that it doesn’t have to be exact plans, but it should at least be, “Let’s hang out later this week and we’ll do dinner. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

10. He doesn’t remember your one month anniversary.

11. He hasn’t posted a picture of you together on Facebook within two months of the first date. Guys who are excited about you will post and tag your beautiful face!

Okay. Hopefully I didn’t depress you. But the message here is, if you want a relationship with someone and he’s acting out the above list, move on. I don’t believe in “waiting it out” or “breaking him down” so he will “come around.” Don’t put up with someone who semi-likes you. Date someone who is dying to be with you. (You will find him—but you have to know you deserve it!!)[shine.yahoo.com,2011]