Is he really your Mr. Right?

Just looking at him takes your breath away. You think about him all the time. You can't wait to hear from him again. Strong feelings. But is it love? Is he the one? Most women have experienced all of the strong feelings of initial attraction to someone, only to find out later that it was not a good relationship. Those beginning feelings are so intense it can be difficult to view the relationship rationally. Your heart may get in the way of your head, and that can spell disaster and heartache. So how do you know he's the one?

Take the time to really get to know him. Do you really know him? When we meet someone, we tend to get an initial impression, and these impressions can later prove to be false. We have to trust our gut instinct, but we also need to verify those feelings with facts. This only comes from really getting to know someone. Find out what makes them tick. To really know someone takes time, effort, and patience. Dating partners, ourselves included, try to put our best foot forward to make a good impression when we meet someone. We hide our bad habits, watch what we say, and try to put ourselves in the best light we can. Many relationship experts call this the "honeymoon period." It is easy to be blinded during this time, especially to others' faults.

When you are with this man, on the phone or in person, ask questions. Everyone likes to have someone be interested in him. It doesn't have to be an interrogation. Just use the time you have together to get to know his heart and mind. What does he like? What does he not like? Is he a racist? What are his views on women's issues? What do his friends think of him? How does he treat his family? How does he talk about past relationships? Does he accept responsibility for the mistakes he has made, or does he blame all his problems on someone else? What is his history? What jobs has he held? Has he moved around a lot in his life? What are his goals for the future? What are his regrets? Is he generous? Is he considerate of other people's feelings? Do you recognize any controlling behaviors?

Does he listen to you? "Genuine concern manifests itself in listening to the cares, concerns and issues of your woman," says Anthony Woodson, president and CEO of BlackLoveForever.com, a matchmaking service that has resulted in nearly 500 marriages. "A man who wants to be around you for the long-term will be a good listener when you need him. He will be a dependable source of guidance and support and will not turn a deaf ear simply because the problem is too big. If he doesn't know the solution, he will try his best to find one."

Watch how he interacts with others. Does he bark orders at waiters? Does he have good manners? Manners may not seem as important to you now, but at some point you will want to introduce him to your family or co-workers, and it will become more important. How does he treat women in his life? What does he say about women co-workers?

How does he treat you? Is he considerate of your wants and needs? Does he value your opinion? Do you feel free to express your likes and dislikes to him? Does he keep his dates with you on time? Does he do what he says he will do? "To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his partner," says Jel D. Lewis, relationship expert and columnist.

Do you share the same outlook on what is important in life? He can be gorgeous, and make you feel special, but if you are a person who loves to be involved in helping others, and he is a person who is more concerned about getting what he wants for himself, there will be conflict. How does he accept your differences? Two people can have very different opinions on issues, and yet show respect for the other's view. Is he concerned about being right? Will he be supportive of you with whatever you choose to do in your life?

What do your friends and family think of him? Eventually you will want him to meet the other people in your life. Because they have no bias toward this man, they may see things you don't see. Listen to their concerns. If someone expresses a concern, look at it carefully instead of dismissing it. If it is a legitimate concern, you need to address it.

Look for warning signs. One therapist calls these the "caution lights" and many of us, when we look back on past relationships that proved to be bad for us, remember seeing signs of trouble early on. Most of the time these were ignored. Don't avoid the caution lights. If he does something or says something that makes you feel something may not be right, explore that. Don't rationalize away your concerns. If it doesn't feel right, it may not be right.

Think about the long view. It's easy to believe that because we are so compatible now, we will always be. But when we look at a future with someone, a lot of other things become more important. Is he an honorable person? Is he honest? Is he a person of his word? Is he trustworthy? Does he follow through with commitments? Does he want the same things from his life that you do? How does he handle conflicts? Does he have a temper? Is he abrasive or abusive at times? Any sign of abusive behavior is a definite "deal breaker". No matter how nice a guy he is at times, if he's abusive at other times, he's not for you. You deserve better than that.

He should make you feel good about yourself and encourage you to grow. If you weren't in a relationship with this man, is he the kind of man you would still want to be friends with? Gandy, creator of the motivational tape, Make Space So Joy Has A Place, gives this advice: "If this person is truly a good fit for you, then his qualities should be desirable even if you are not in a relationship." Do you have the same views spiritually, financially, and socially?

Happiness is something we all seek. But long term happiness is our ultimate goal. If this man is the one, he will be someone you can be happy with for a long time. Don't settle for instant gratification to the expense of your long term well-being. Author and motivational speaker Dr. Grace Cornish advises women not to get caught up looking for love in a certain package. "If you think he's the one, don't write him off just because he's not wearing a certain suit or driving a certain car," she says. "Get to know who he is and what his values are. After moving beyond the physical, you can enter the emotional and spiritual, where you'll find love and opportunity waiting and smiling back at you." [associatedcontent.com,2011]

Sexting will hurts your marriage!

The term“sext or sexting,” is known as the act of sending flirtatious or sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones, text message, email, Twitter, Facebook and so on.

so below are the 11 Ways that Sexting Hurts Your Marriage:

1. Just because you or your spouse do not define something as “cheating” doesn’t mean it can’t eventually bring your marriage to an end.

2. Sexting is a form of flirting. Flirting is the first step in courtship. In fact, it’s what led to the two of you getting married. Would you feel comfortable if your spouse were actively courting someone else?

3. Trust is an important ingredient to a happy marriage. Sexting destroys trust.

4. If you wouldn’t do it with your spouse sitting right next to you, it’s probably not good for your marriage.

5. As the saying goes: The grass is always greener where you water it. If you are sexting with someone who isn’t your spouse, you are watering the wrong lawn.

6. By focusing your attention outside your home, you will end up neglecting what’s inside your home. Trust me: to keep it strong, your marriage will need all of the attention you can give it. Don’t waste your attention where it’s not needed.

7. When you flirt with someone else – either in person, on the phone, or digitally – you hurt your spouse’s self esteem. A spouse who feels this way is eventually going to check out.

8. When you flirt with someone else – either in person, on the phone, or digitally – you make it harder for your spouse to feel sexy. A spouse who doesn’t feel sexy isn’t going to want to have sex.

9. When you flirt with someone else – either in person, on the phone, or digitally – you cause your spouse to feel unloved. If your spouse does not get the love she needs from you, she’s going to be more likely to search for it somewhere else.

10. If you need a rush, try finding it with your spouse. The two of you can strengthen your marriage by solving this problem together.

11. If you don’t feel sexy, try talking to your spouse about the problem. The two of you can strengthen your marriage by solving this problem together.

There is one way sexting can help your marriage. It’s this: do it with your spouse. Text “you are hot” to your spouse. Text “I can’t wait to see you naked” to your spouse. Everything you were thinking of sexting to someone else? just Sext it to your spouse.

Written by Alisa Bowman, projecthappilyeverafter.com

Secrets to a happy marriage...

Some people said "love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener" but why people are seen happier when they got married. It is becoz they knew what are the secret to a happy marriage! so try some below and see how many of them you have practice in your couples'life :)

- Never assume.
- Compliment more than you criticize.
- Always make time for the two of you.
- Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
- Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
- Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
- Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
- Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
- Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
- Fight naked. ;)
- Agree to disagree.
- Never, ever mention the "D" word (divorce).
- Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
- Respect each other's privacy.
- Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
- Marriage is not 50/50, it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
- Surprise each other now and then.
- Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".
- Hold hands.
- Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
- Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
- Be quick to say "I'm sorry".
- Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.
- Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.
- Play nice, play often, love much.
- Never keep secrets from each other.
- Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife's side first!
- Communication is the key!
- Always respect each other.
- Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- It's the little things that matter most.
- Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
- It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.
- Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
- Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life! [romanticstuck.com,2011]

Marriage is not just a game to play, but to invest the life time...

"MARRIAGE...A MUST READ" (Please do share TO ALL) A true sad novel
by Ramon E Mendoza

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

Last but not least, i'd like to thanks to my lovely brother for sharing this article to me. this is really worth reading! love

Little Things to Make a Happy Marriage

Pleasing a husband comes down to giving true respect and love. To make a marriage bright and to bring joy to a husband's day, try these tips for going the extra mile.

A marriage is a commitment that supersedes feelings and emotions. Day after day, actions and words help build a solid marriage. One hundred percent effort and heart should be given by both husband and wife.

Although this long term commitment is the foundation of a marriage, it’s the daily details that make it colorful and rich. Thankfully, there are limitless possibilities when trying to show a husband how special he is. Here are some suggestions to fan the flames.

Offering Respect to Your Husband

One of man’s deepest desires is to be respected. Who better to offer this respect than the woman he loves the most? What’s respect? According to Webster’s 1828 English Dictionary, respect is, “Regard. Attention.” In other words, simply pay him attention. Show him that he matters.

One way to have an altruistic heart and show a husband respect is to ask his opinion of something. If a man feels like his opinions are respected, he feels loved and appreciated. But more than asking his opinions try to actually listen to them, even heeding them. Husbands, given the chance, do have some excellent input.
Another way to show respect is to speak highly of him in other’s presence. Whether or not he’s actively listening, speaking highly of your husband raises his esteem and effectively shows a wife’s enduring love and high regard for the man of her dreams.

Serving a husband is a duty to be cherished. By diligently praying for him, performing thoughtful acts of kindness for him, and showing a deep seated respect for him, a marriage will pulsate with life. Saturate a husband with these tips and actions and and enjoy the road of an excellent marriage. [suits101.com]

All in all, to keep your love and marriage alive, wife should learn how to respect your husband not just outside but directly from the inside, you love him, you need to respect him, respect his ideas and respect him as your husband, meaning of, always asking for his idea before making decision, no matter what, he needs to be a part of your brain. Remember, not just only when you, two alone together, but you need to respect him wherever you are, even behind his back, esp respect your husband when in public. Respect him honestly and love him with you heart. that will brings a a happy marriage when he comes to understand how much you love him.