it's all about LOVE!


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One Eyed mother - what else mom could do?

4.27.2011
A true touching story - a must read!

Son's Statement:

" My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.

I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!"

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

So I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don 't you just die?!!!"

My mom did not respond...

I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to Singapore to study.

Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts

Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.

I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbors said that she died.

I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have. "

Mom's Letter:

"My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to Singapore and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.

So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. With my love to you,

Your mother.

Nursing and Working mother...

4.25.2011
The Role of Breastfeeding in Bonding

Breastfeeding usually plays an integral role in forming the deep attachment between mother and baby. Bottle-feeding mothers, of course, can also be securely attached to their babies. There are many tools in the attachment kit; breastfeeding is but one. It is, however, an extraordinarily powerful one.

Breastfeeding is designed by nature to ensure maternal-infant interaction and closeness. If done without schedules or other restrictions, breastfeeding guarantees that you and your baby will be in close physical contact 8 to 18 times in every 24 hours. In fact, nursing mothers tend to be with their infants altogether more than other mothers. In the first 10 days after birth, nursing mothers hold their babies more than bottle-feeding mothers, even when they are not nursing. They rock their babies more, speak to their babies more, and are more likely to sleep with their babies. In Western society many women never hold a newborn until they give birth to their own, yet this frequent skin-to-skin contact and interaction soon make up for even a complete lack of familiarity with babies. The mother who immerses herself in her newborn, breastfeeding frequently and without restrictions, quickly learns to read her baby's cues and to trust her own instincts. She extends the gentle give-and-take, the empathy, and the commitment of breastfeeding into the rest of her mothering. Nursing her baby provides her with a blueprint for sensitive parenting in the years to come.

Nursing couples need each other physically and emotionally. The baby, of course, has a physical need for milk. As scientists have amply documented, breast milk benefits every system in a baby's body. Breastfeeding offers protection against allergies and respiratory infections, and perhaps obesity. Breastfeeding improves vision and oral development; breastfed babies have fewer ear infections; breast milk is better for the cardiovascular system and kidneys; and babies' intestinal immunity is enhanced by human milk. Juvenile diabetes is less common among breastfed than bottle-fed babies. Breastfeeding enhances a baby's cognitive development, partially because it allows the baby more control in feeding--the ability to control one's own actions appears to be essential in human development. The composition of breast milk, too, appears to support optimal brain development. Indeed, recent studies have found that children fed mother's milk as babies have higher IQs, on average, than those fed formula.

And, of course, a baby's emotional need for love and reassurance is just as strong as her physical need for milk. Whereas most formula-fed babies are soon taught to hold their own bottles, the breastfed baby is always held by her mother for feedings. A breastfed baby enjoys not only the comfort of the warm breast, but caressing, rocking, and eye contact before, during, and after feedings. With all her senses, she drinks in her mother's love.

The mother, in turn, has a physical need for the baby to take the milk from her breasts. The let-down of milk is relieving, satisfying, like a drink of water when one is thirsty. When your newborn begins to suck at your breast, or even just to mouth your nipple, the hormone oxytocin is released in your body, hastening the contraction of your uterus and inducing the let-down or milk-ejection reflex, which begins your milk flow. Called "the love hormone" because it is also produced during sexual intercourse and birth, oxytocin brings on a sudden feeling of contentment and pleasure as you breastfeed your baby. In this way you and your baby become a happy team at feedings, each amply rewarded by the other for her efforts.

The Risks of Working to Bonding

Bonding usually proceeds without our thinking about it much. We get pregnant, we give birth, we fall in love with our babies, we decide to breastfeed, we become mothers in tune with our babies. Voila. We have accomplished one of life's major transitions, becoming a mother. Unless we don't.

Sometimes women don't fully traverse the divide between childless woman and mother. They have babies, but they resist the bone deep commitment that comes with motherhood. After all, becoming a mother is a frightening, gigantic leap into a new, all-encompassing stage of life. Motherhood threatens to submerge both accomplishments of the past and goals of the future, as well as one's present sense of self. The fear of losing oneself in its flood waters is entirely normal.

Besides, in American culture today, motherhood receives scant respect, especially among high-achievers. If your self-respect comes mainly from your success at work, especially if that work is competitive and pressured, reentering the world with mother suddenly attached to your identity can be dismaying, to say the least. Despite the impressive diplomacy and managerial skills with which motherhood endows women, the business world holds mothers in suspicion. We are widely suspected of not being truly committed to our jobs and our

And, as nursing mothers will tell you in chorus, breastfeeding has the most marvelous calming effect on them. A recent study documents their experience: At one month postpartum, breastfeeding women were significantly less anxious than formula-feeding women. The breastfeeding hormones, oxytocin and prolactin, cause a feeling of well-being that tends to promote maternal behavior. Also, the act of breastfeeding requires a woman to relax. No matter how hectic her life, a breastfeeding mother must sit or lie down with her baby eight or more times a day. And we mustn't discount the simple joy and peace of mind that come with cuddling a secure, satisfied, comfortable baby.

Whether or not they care that nursing is good for their health, most nursing mothers would say that breastfeeding's primary benefit is convenience. Although breastfed babies nurse more frequently than do formula-fed babies, the non-nursing mother must dedicate a great deal of time to purchasing and mixing formula, cleaning bottles and nipples, and warming bottles. Unlike formula, breast milk is always ready, warm, and, as long as the baby continues to nurse frequently, plentiful. When the baby is hungry, the breastfeeding mother simply finds a comfortable place to sit or lie down with him. At night, whereas the formula-feeding parent must wake up and get out of bed to prepare a bottle, the breastfeeding mother can have her baby brought to her, or, if her baby is sharing her bed, nurse without ever fully waking up. A breastfed baby is also highly portable: There are no bottles to pack and carry; there is no need to find a place to mix formula and heat the bottle. A spare diaper in her purse, and the breastfeeding mother and her baby are on their way.

The Benefits of Breastfeeding for Working Mothers

Many women going back to work decide that the "added stress" of nursing is the last thing they need. As many working women can attest, however, their lives are made easier rather than harder by breastfeeding. One experienced mother finds that "breastfeeding is the easier part of being a working mother. It's much harder finding time to iron a shirt."

The immunologic properties of breast milk benefit working parents as much as their babies. Breastfed babies wake their parents less often at night with earaches and stuffy noses. Because breastfed babies are generally healthier, they also tend to be happier. They cry less, smile more, and are less wearying to care for after a long day at work.

The anti-infective properties of breast milk are a real boon when a baby is or will be in group day care. Babies in day care are exposed to more germs than are babies cared for at home. But when these babies are breastfed, they are protected against many serious bacterial and viral infections and secondary complications. And the lower incidence and severity of illness in breastfed babies reduces the time their parents must take off from work.

The flood of relaxation that comes with the let-down of milk is made to order for stressed-out working mothers. You may find that, after nursing your baby at the end of the day, you have trouble remembering what had so vexed you at work just a few hours earlier. Your slate is wiped clean, and you can more easily and calmly attend to your family and yourself for the rest of the evening. A pediatrician comments, "My greatest release after coming home is putting up my feet and nursing the baby. We both feel wonderful. It is my unwinding time."

For the typical nursing and working mother, the most important benefit of breastfeeding is that day after day it confirms that she is irreplaceable to her baby. Most women who decide to breastfeed do so for their babies' sakes. Only later do they discover that it's good for them, too. For working mothers, breastfeeding is a friend, a constant ally against the anxiety that comes from having to leave their babies in someone else's care for most of the day, and wondering if they are good-enough mothers. For your baby, after all, the babysitter may be very nice, but only Mama has a soft, sweet-smelling breast and warm, sweet-tasting milk. And when you pick up the baby and nurse at the end of a work day, you and she are immediately a couple again. There is no "getting to know you again" period for a working mother and her nursing baby.

A physician says, "Nursing has been a wonderful way to reconnect with my children while working. My daughter's favorite time to nurse is right after I get home at the end of the day. Even though she now goes all day without nursing, she gets a little frantic once I get home, and she really wants to nurse. I have found that nursing puts life into perspective. The sense of accomplishment, bonding, and wellbeing that I get from nursing makes me less anxious about having to leave her during the day."

A book editor concurs. "I like that it keeps me feeling connected to him all day long. I'm forced to take 'baby time' when I'm at work, and I can even go see him and share our bond in the middle of a work day if I want. It helps ease the transition for me to nurse him when I drop him off and when I pick him up. I also feel like I'm still mothering him even when I'm not with him, by continuing to provide pumped breast milk for him."

A social worker who formula-fed her first baby and breastfed her second speaks poignantly of the difference: "Since my mother-in-law took care of my first child eight to ten hours a day and since she could feed him just as well as I could, sometimes I felt as though he was more hers than mine. Since I had to be away from him 40 hours a week, breastfeeding could have tied us back together at the end of the day. Not breastfeeding my son is one of the greatest regrets of my life. My experience with him made me determined to have a different experience when my daughter was born."

Breastfeeding after returning to work is a way to tie the two halves of your life together. It will help you to make sense of yourself in the challenging new role as mother while continuing your pre-baby work life. Learning the job of motherhood is hard enough without the distractions of responsibilities outside the home, but when you're trying to maintain your identity as a working woman you have an intensified need for the lessons taught by breastfeeding. You can rely on breastfeeding as a blueprint for the intuitiveness, nurturing, and empathy that comes with experienced mothering. Through breastfeeding, you can give your child the best possible beginning, and in return you will gain confidence in yourself as a mother.

Love is.... by Susan Polis Schutz

4.18.2011
Love is...

Love is being happy for the other person when they are happy; being sad for the other person when they are sad; being together in good times and being together in bad times. Love is the source of strength

Love is being honest with yourself at all times; being honest with the other person
at all times. Telling, listening, respecting the truth and never pretending. Love is the source of reality

Love is an understanding that is so complete that you feel as if you are a part of the other person; accepting the other person just the way they are and not trying to change them to be something else. Love is the source of unity


Love is the freedom to pursue your own desires while sharing your experiences with the other person; the growth of one individual alongside of and together with the growth of another individual. Love is the source of success

Love is the excitement of planning things together; the excitement of doing things together. Love is the source of the future

Love is the fury of the storm; the calm of the rainbow. Love is the source of passion

Love is giving and taking in a daily situation; being patient with each other's needs and desires. Love is the source of sharing

Love is knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless
of what happens; missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times. Love is the source of security

Love is the source of life.


~Susan Polis Schutz

Healthy Breastfeeding tips

4.04.2011
We’ve all heard the debate. Breast Feeding vs Formula. But why do most people say breast feeding is the best for your baby? Because this natural mother’s milk is genetically the best food for your baby. This is the way GOD designed for things to work.

Want a more scientific reason? Okay, for one, the complex fats that are abundant in human breastmilk are vital to brain development and may have an effect on your baby’s intelligence as they grow older.


Breastfed babies are ten times less likely to be hospitalized with gastro-enteritis in the early months than babies who are fed formula.

Breastfed babies also gain immunities from a host of other infections.

Here are some terms you may not already know. “Foremilk” – the thinner milk that first comes from the breast when you begin feeding your baby. This is for quenching the baby’s initial thirst. “Hindmilk” – is the milk that comes later during the feeding of your baby. The hindmilk is much more filling and contains all the nutrients your baby needs to stay healthy.

Breastfed babies rarely need other drinks and supplements, because their mother has already given them what nature intended for them to have and need.

What’s in it for me as a Mom? There is nothing to compare the bonding and closeness with your baby that is caused by your choice to breastfeed. It is a great feeling to know that you are doing what is best for your baby.

Babies need to be close to their mothers. They need physical contact. Breastfeeding is one of the best types of physical contact you can have with your baby.

It’s also a whole lot easier than bottle-feeding! No feeds to mix, no bottles to warm or sterilize. Your breastmilk is always available, already sterile, and already just the right temperature for your baby.

Here is a real favorite among all women who breastfeed. Many women lose weight more easily after the birth if they choose breastfeeding over bottle feeding.

Another big issue is that there is evidence that breastfeeding reduces your risk for breast cancer.

What if I am having problems breastfeeding? Either your pediatrician can help you or there are breastfeeding counselors you can find in your area or online that can help you with any problems you may have.

If you have sore nipples or your baby isn’t getting enough milk, it may be your positioning. Your baby’s mouth should cover all of the areola, especially the part just under the areola. Sucking on just the nipple will keep the baby from getting enough milk and will make your nipples very sore. [thelaboroflove.com, 2011]

What Girls wants in a relationship...

4.01.2011
1. Talk. Communication is key. If you are afraid to talk to the girl that you're dating, or if you'd rather do something else, you need to set some priorities. Ask her how her day was. You want her to listen to you, so you should listen to her--conversation is a two way street. # People love talking about themselves. Ask her about her dreams and hopes. It will make her feel like you care about her. Always ask her about school and her day as well.

2. Try to avoid asking lots of questions about where she's been and what she was doing. If they say "Be right back, I gotta go do something", it's usually best not to ask what she were doing, as it can make a girl feel annoyed.

3. Think before you speak! Try to keep things very very positive. If she's complaining about life, don't agree. Tell her she rocks and support her.

4. Compliments are excellent, but know that you should stop at the point where you're just listening to yourself talk. Girls know when you're sincere and when you're just blowing hot air. But, compliments never hurt anyone.

5. Nobody can write the definitive guide on dating! You need to experiment for yourself! Remember, romance is not always an easy thing.

6. Listen to what she has to say and pay attention.

7. Above all, take care of yourself. Keep your daily and lifelong goals in sight. Nothing turns off a woman faster than a man who chooses to accomplish nothing, even if all his attention is directed toward her.

8. Don't be obsessive. Give her some room. she doesnt need you to be hanging on her, she wants to be able to lean on you, not the other way around.

9. Don't cheat on her!! If you flirt with another girl, to make her 'jealous' then its not going to work, she'll think that you like them and might end up moving on. Not all girls get jealous the same way.

10. Make her friends like you, not love you. If they love you, she will think otherwise or something... Don't fall in love with her friends either! [wikihow, 2011]